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You
know you drink too much coffee when ...
- Juan
Valdez named his donkey after you.
-
you ski uphill.
- you
speed walk in your sleep.
- you
answer the door before people knock.
- you
sleep with your eyes open.
- you
just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
- you
grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- you
have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- the
only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.
-
you lick your coffeepot clean.
- your
eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- the
nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- your
T-shirt says, "Decaf is the devil's coffee."
- you
can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
- all
your kids are named "Joe."
- you
don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- your
only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet and Low."
- you
don't sweat, you percolate.
- you've
worn out the handles on your favorite mug.
- you've
built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
- people
get dizzy just watching you.
- people
can test their batteries in your ears.
- when
someone asks you," How are you?", you say," Good
to the last drop."
- your
birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- you'd
be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
- you
go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- you
speak perfect Arabic without even taking a lesson.
- your
Thermos is on wheels.
- you
can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
- you
don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- you
think being called a drip is a compliment.
- you
don't tan, you roast.
- you
don't get mad, you get steamed.
- you
soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- your
coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
- you think
CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
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